i hate myself for wanting it so badly.
i go through these phases where i just can not handle life without it. mum walked into my room, and had no idea why i couldn’t stop shaking or why i collapsed onto my knees or why my eyes were closed tight in pain or why i was doing anything i was doing. im so fucked up. i hate my self for needing it, for wanting it this bad, but i still fucking want it. i need it. i really really do. im literally shaking. my body won’t stay still.
